I always tried to think my way out of things. Thought I wouldn’t ever take meds. Maybe I wouldn’t have except I was walking home one night and got a kicking from some lads for no reason whatsoever. I used to love the outdoors. That totally stopped me going outside and I retreated to my bed for far too long (then again it IS comfy). I think that helped the job get to me even more as my release had always been fresh air. Anyway now I’m on medication (although I have a review coming up on Thursday evening that I hope won’t change that). The meds I take are really subtle. At first the only thing I noticed was being sleepy. Then after a while that wore off and you don’t feel like you’re taking anything at all but at the same time gradually you just start feeling a bit more relaxed. Yeah Prozac nation (well Fluoxetine nation as it should now be called). I still find myself getting panic attacks every now and then but nothing like I used to get. I still have the odd day where I want to hide in bed too but again it’s nothing like it used to be. On the whole I’m a lot happier than I’ve been in…well as long as I can remember. So if you get by without ever resorting to meds then that’s good but if you do ever find yourself taking them then chances are it won’t be like you’re a zombie or anything. They can be really subtle.

But yeah back in track again, thanks, it really helps to know someone had the same trouble as me and that’s you’ve gotten out of it, even if it’s just a little bit. Keep it up ^_^ xxx

If others are being hard on you try not to be hard on yourself. A job can really grind a person down so you need to relax more when you can. I’m speaking from experience here (I dislike a lot about my job and was in a wing with an annoying, obnoxious, retarded group of gossipers, back-stabbers and total idiots for several years. Four months off with depression in the end. Yee). I still find some days tough (today for instance) but I am in a slightly better group now. Even so I often find myself so tired by the time I get home from work that I don’t really want to do anything. Mind you most people seem to spend their time just watching tv…based on every conversation in my workplace. I think not liking the job helps sap energy which means you find less motivation to do things in your free time which means you dislike your job even more as you aren’t getting a release from it in your personal life which means you have even less energy to do things in your free time which means you dislike your job even more…vicious circle. Causes much stress. Personally I like to let off steam by talking complete balls on Twitter but then I guess you know that by now. Oh and idols. Lots of idols. I sometimes think idols are a bit like marijuana for the soul. Helps mask the reality around us.

Sorry going off on a tangent. Just saying though…screw work. Don’t let the buggers grind you down. You’re better than them.

I can’t believe I’m missing momusu in Paris but it will b aces, I hope you have loads of fun.. Take lots of pics of eri and jun2 for me hahahahahahaha

xxx

I know what you mean about the pillars. I was at the back right behind one. I kept having to move my head left or right depending on where Rika was. But seeing as it was Hangry&Angry in the UK I was just blissfully happy anyway even though I’d have liked a better view. But since I had to collect a wristband thing first I was always going to be at the back. Anyway even though the Q&A wasn’t exactly well organised (I ended up pretty much behind a pillar again, even though I was asking a question) I still got to speak to IshiYossie. The image of Rika saying konnichiwa to me… *Dies* Also there seemed to be a decent turn out in London which was good. I’d have loved to go to Paris as well but I’m going in July to see Ai-chan (and apparently the other Momusu members will be there too :p ). Hangry & Angry in Europe though…just WOW. The signing in London was just surreal to me and then seeing them perform two days later…in the Flesh…and getting to ask a question…it’s just beyond words really.