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New Year New Me?

Hey all, long time no talk!!!!

I have to admit things this year haven’t been going well, I’m hating my job, I feel bullied and constantly stressed and moody. I’m hoping to get a new job but i just can’t get up the motivation to look, I’m guessing that means i don’t really need it but i so do. I have finally got my MCTS (Microsoft Certified Technical Specialist) so that will get me in the good books of some employees, although i don’t think i want to be in the IT industry anymore. I just don’t know what i want to, i don’t know what i like and i don’t know where i wanna go in life.

The positive aspects of this year so far is Zoe is helping me get fit, we have been going to the gym loads, we are trying to at least go 4 times a week. I have signed up for getting Personal Training too so hopefully i’ll be fit and healthy quicker. I’ve been introduced to Zumba too, it’s AMAZING and so much fun, i’d love to keep this up for as long as possible.

Zoe has also been getting me into actually watching more things, i started watching Supernatural which is AWESOME, Dean is so hot, and also Glee which is fun. She’s been writing a blog called Let Zoe Spoil You you must all go have a look and read some of her reviews, they are awesome.

I want to post this for now i think, i’ll prob try and write something proper tomorrow if i get a chance, i’m going to go and play a little Zumba on my XBox now :p

xxxx

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Whats new today?

Today I went to the doctors to have a follow up appointment, he said i’m not doing too well, i’ve definitely gotten worst than the last time I saw him. One thing the both of us didn’t want to do was get me on Anti Depressants again, but he felt like he didn’t have much of a choice. So yeah, i’m being weened off the Propranolol and put on Citalopram, I really hope they help, i’m not sure what to do anymore.

Anyway enough about me, i thought i’d post some pictures and write about them cos i can ^_^

Piccy Number 1 – This is my avatar. I picked this picture because I think Yossy is amazing and i nearly have an outfit like this. Thats what i’m basing my birthday party on and I want people to see how awesome she is too. I need an Angry…. any volunteers??

Piccy Number 2 – Yossy and her Guitar. As I said Yossy is awesome and has amazing style. She is learning the guitar which is something i’ve always wanted to do, i guess this is a reminder for me every time i look at it to pick up my guitar and have a go. I love Yossy’s fondness for hats, they are cool and suit her so well.

I think eventually when i get a chance and some motivation back, i’ll start to make my Yossy scrap book, i’ve got so much to put in it but just never seem to do anything about it. I’ll take some photos of that too ^_^

Darn… i’m going to have to stop writing again, my food has just arrived.. PIZZZZZZA <3

~*Aqua*~

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ANGRY, just angry with no hANGRY :(

Today has been rather crap, i’m so angry and i don’t know what to do with this anger,

If you’ve seen my facebook, you’ll know why…..

I just wants them to go away now, how much more are they going to put me though before they realise they’ve hurt me, they’ve lied, they’ve taken advantage or me and all i wanted was to be friends!!!!

I’ve never wanted so much to be invisible and just go away, leave… but theres so much I want to do.

I’m starting to hate Kingston more and more each day but there isn’t anywhere else i want to me, i’m starting to hate England and some of the people. I watch things on TV and just think (like everyone else), “If only i could do that”, “if only i could be your friend”, “if only i was in that counrty”, “if only things were different” .

I don’t really know what more to say that won’t make me sound like an emo, annoying cow… but i needed to vent and MY blog was the best place to do it…..

I’ll probably write more in a but my food has arrived and i wanna eat.

~*Aqua*~

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A day in the life of me (Very uninteresting)

Is not so fun but meh

Today I went to work for 8am, sat at my desk for like an hour while reading BT emails, so technical and confusing.

Went for training now on assertive… well obviously that was wasted on me, how am I ever going to get the confidence to say NO if i’m constantly put down and just can’t seem to do anything for myself.

Sat in work for an hour then went for some lunch, Sushi whoooot……

Next went for a moving and handling course which was litterally along the line of this is how you pick up a box with nothing in it and how to pick up paper on a chair… very useful honest :s

That was the end of work, went into town with my cousin and had somthing to eat, came back and watched TV…

THAT IS MY DAY!!!!!!! why why why do i have no motivation to do ANYTHING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH stressful!!!!!

~*Aqua*~

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So whats this blog all about??

Well to be honest, I just don’t know O.o

I want to have this awesome blog with load of information about stuff, but i just don’t know what to write.

Any ideas would be muchly appreciated. I know it’s meant to be about expressing myself and stuff but i want an aim as well.

As you may all know Yoshizawa Hitomi is my idol so i want this blog to be just as much about her activities as well as mine, whether its as Yossy, Hangry, Gata player etc.

(This post is also to test that RSS feed works :p)

~*Aqua*~